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How To Support Your Partners While They Support You?
A MyChronicPainTeam Member asked a question 💭

I can’t get out with my fiancé and so many things or enjoy moments as much as we used to because of the pain and I can tell it’s taking a toll on him. He just wants to see me happy and admitted how much it hurts him when he sees me hurting. He’s been so wonderful to me in this, but I know everyone has a breaking point of how much they can handle and I want to take some of the burden off of him. He always carries me when I can’t carry myself and I can tell he’s growing weary too. We have a… read more

posted April 12, 2019
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A MyChronicPainTeam Member

does he have guy friends that maybe u could tell him to go out and enjoy a nite out with the guys for a few beers. he'll love u even more for understanding and trusting him that hell even choose to come home early just to give u his love. maybe try to get together with one of us ladies for a drink or just to talk. u can cry with us hug us and let out ur frustration cause we really know how u feel.

posted April 22, 2019
A MyChronicPainTeam Member

can u go to an indoor pool or not tub place together.

posted April 14, 2019
A MyChronicPainTeam Member

First is that you try to learn to accept the pain and learn how to live with it ...but that takes time a lot of time and usually guidince from a menthal health coach when you make a move in that proces from grieve to integrating the pain in your life you got more independicy again and you be more a joy to meet and have around .This takes time by me took it two years .But it is the best gift you can give him your one growing progress to challenge life with the pain. I cry much lesser then the first years so that is also fine for my husband

It diffecult qeustion my husband does almost al the housework and we do no activitys in the evening we have almost no intercorse ( what the hack i say it like it is, most of us have problems with that because of the pain of the meds how take libido away) and don t travel anymore. Some times the relation ship feels indead not equel.

Few tips ;
- i choose ! when to share my pain sometimes i look for comfort by him but sometimes i go away in bed and he onlys checks me ones on a evening ; because i dont want to give him the ballast of seeing me in pain al the time
- arrange free time for him and his hobby and friends.
_Let him travel with someone else.
_Sorry i dont know if you are active but surch for a piece of seksual life what is left .And talk talk talk about you and his needs even it is sad talking about mising it is important
-Try to get the activity you like toworth you so instead of going out for dinner make deliciuos food and enjoy at home or buy a film on you tube
_ small walk in the neighberhood
- play bordgames
- transport activitys to your power hours we went in the morning to a concert.In the morning we played pool.
- book a sleeping place next to activity you want to do so you can rest between the activity: went to the zoo and beach with hotel chamber and hostel in the near neighberhood.
And just love him you never can measure what you mean to him maybe that is much bigger then you think and love is so strong and flexibel. He can love you with all your kwalitys and your dissability .Your not lesser worth because of your limmitations it only a big challenge to live life furfilling alone and with eachother.
Tell him that you apriciate him.

Let love rule !

Greetings from Holland
💓🌷💓🌷💓🌷💓🌷

posted April 12, 2019
A MyChronicPainTeam Member

That was a very good answer Willemien.. I honestly felt like I wanted to live alone before.. I know I was difficult to live with and felt bad about myself.. I am feeling better now a bit.. I try to do nice things when I feel well..like make a great supper..talk and laugh more with him..I guess he does love me for what I am..now he is worried about himself..the aortic valve..so.. I have been here for him..when they say at your wedding vows..for better or worse..they really mean it..lol..this is a pic of us in the 90’s?? just funny.. I have been looking at pics..if someone really loves you..it will all work out..

posted April 12, 2019
A MyChronicPainTeam Member

Ps ; i didn t want to sound patronising and it keeps being diffecult also after a long time and the differents is your young we had a active life behind us and are now almost 50 with almost grown up kids so thats is easyer to take in.

posted April 12, 2019

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