I had to help my mom during the last few years of her life. We often had cleanups--anything from a simple wipe and wash up to changing of clothes and cleaning of the bathroom. She was always distressed because I had to help her and constantly apologized. I told her that she did the same for me when I was a baby, and now it was my turn to help her. I reminded her I'd seen s*** before and no doubt would see it again, so to me it was not a big deal. I also assured her she didn't need to apologize for anything. I don't know if it helped--she was still distressed but at least she knew it was not an inconvenience for me and her situation was nothing to be ashamed about. I'm glad you waited to have the discussion with your husband so you could get your thoughts together, and even more glad you did talk with him about it.
@A MyChronicPainTeam Member......There are days I get disrespected about how I'm lazy, lI should be doing more or I really ought to get more exercise ....I think I have heard it all. That's why I'm at this sight.I can talk to people who have been there and don't judge. If they only know what you do for there happiness. I'm here if you need to talk
Yep plenty of times. But I'm firm in my heart about needing help. Their bad feelings can not be mine to bear.
Its strange how people don't understand. Until they have a sprain break etc.
Myself fed up with ex husband one time sat and listened to the big production over a sprain. Yes I realized it hurt.
I looked at him and said I envy you. Him stunned said what do you mean envy me?
I said well, you know the pain is going to go away.
Now imagine having that pain every day and it Not leaving your body? Some days a little better , some days the pain alot worse but never leaving.
That's what I live with....
He was shocked. So have other people I've had this conversation with.
Their well is lose my mind. It gives them a little peek but is still inconceivable we can walk around those who do And try to function in pain.
Only until they walk a mile in our shoes do they truly understand.
I'm so sorry for the horrible experiences people have had!
Hugs to you all.
I'm off for now❤
I was a nurse and sadly not everyone understands what the person with the condition is going through.
In the end we came to the conclusion that there are just some folk who are selfish. I am sure that on occasions they just have problems that they are not coping with, and they are not big enough people to put there own troubles aside & realise that you have problems too & need support. They take it as a personal insult that they need to spend their precious time on someone other than themselves. One or two stories would actually make your hair curl, they certainly left us appalled & astonished.
Here is the thing though ... they don't make you feel better .. so you are better off without them.
That is really hard when it is someone close that you care about, but you cant live their lives for them, you can't make someone care, you gave them what you had when you had it, and there are folks out there that will care about you. So let me repeat... You don't need them ... and eventually they will realise that they need you but don't hold your breath waiting it could be a long wait. Organise your life without them, online shopping, Places like here, a taxi can take you to a coffee shop as a treat (if you can make it) you can meet folk that DO care Don't waste energy & emotion on folk who don't deserve it