The anger you are feeling is natural unfortunately. We are all grieving the loss of the life we thought we would have. We're going through the cycle of loss/death right now. We've all lost a lot, and we have a right to grieve it, but then we try to figure out how to move forward, even if it's a baby step at a time. And none of that means we don't struggle. We all struggle 24/7 sometimes it just doesn't look like it on the outside (even when we secretly wish it would sometimes). The brain fog is a bitch, I completely agree. Be it because of pain, meds, lack of sleep, whatever... Strong caffeine helps (and also helps meds kick in) but there's no cure all. At night your can try Sleepy time tea (2 bags per cup), a shot of dream water (in the sleep aids section of like Walgreens or CVS) it looks like a 5 hour energy shot thing but it's really good for sleep. Then grab a pack of midnites from the same aisle (no drugs in either of these). Pop one right when you're laying down, and if you're wake up in the middle of the night chew one more. You'll go right back to sleep and won't feel groggy in the am.

I totally walk your walk. This relentless pain has taken its toll.. I can't think, talk, handle noise. Focus, remember anything.. I avoid people because it is too hard

Hi I am new to this site my name is Patti. I'm going through the same thing that you're going through. Nothing I have is helping me with my pain. I got divorced in 2009 because my depression was so bad and the pain was so bad I didn't think that my husband would be able to handle me with the situation I was in. Now I live alone I'm closer to my son's than I've ever been but I have a lot of time by myself because I'm in pain all the time. It does get lonely I do have a cat but it's not a real life. The only thing that makes me happy is my grandchildren. I stay alive for them.

Sorry, I didn't express myself clearly. I meant that ppl who don't suffer chronic pain (cp), don't understand, not the ppl on this site, obviously! It's one of those life experiences that can really only be understood by those going through similar I guess. I meant that family and friends and a surprising majority of the medical profession just don't get it. One specialist actually told me I was lucky to be alive! Id made a mammoth effort to go &see him & he was just so unkind. It all adds to feelings of despair and hopelessness over time ya know . You want to keep fighting , to be your own warrior but.... Anyway, I am so glad to have found this site . My spirits have been lifted. Thanks to all and gentle hugs back to you, thanks for the support . Hope u have a good day today. Xx

good morning hun. yes im divorced too because of all of this dep.and pain ect. But were still friends but thats all and i also love the grand kids coming around I hope your not in too much pain today ( gentle hugs )