I have been struggling with this for the last several years. Coming to terms with the fact that physically I will never be the woman I was. Unless someone is going through a similar experience they just do not get it . The answer is acceptance I know this. I go back-and-forth with accepting my limitations. I get angry I get depressed I feel sorry for myself. Then I also try and look around it others who are worse off than I am and I try to be grateful for what I can do. It is a process that I have not yet completely worked my way through. I would compare it to a grieving process almost like a death. That is the best way I can explain it for me. Which is how I ended up in this group. It helps to know I am not alone. And you are not alone.

@A MyChronicPainTeam Member I went through the bit where people would stare at me or make rude comments when I was younger. I finally got tired of the comments, I have a smart mouth, and would look at those commenting and tell them, "go ahead and call the cops because I will be in that store and can be paged". Not one of them ever followed through. Hold your head up, you earned that parking plate.

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A MyChron...

From looking at your picture, I surmise that you are a young lady. I am probably quite a bit older than you, so my experience will be different. I often visit others who have a nice, clean house and this is when I feel sad that I can no longer do many things. I used to love to walk, but like you, I can't walk far or long because of my back pain. I can accept it simply because I have lived longer and don't have the regrets because I did a lot of things when I was young. I know that it is no comfort to you now, but acceptance does really come with age and experience. I am sorry that you are experiencing this difficulty, and I will add you to my daily prayer list. I also find that just looking at others and some of the difficulty they are having makes me thankful that I can still do the things that I can still do. I have to say that I have never experienced the staring by people that others have. Maybe my white hair makes me exempt. Unfortunately, people judge when they have no right to so so. I have come to realize that it doesn't matter what others think or say, I know what is true and they don't. I doubt that my rambling has helped you much, but I do empathize with you. While I don't know your particular pain, I do know that there is One greater than any pain and I have a personal relationship with Him. I pray the same for you.

Sadly my independence is slipping away too. I use a handicap car sign and when I get out people just stare at me like I shouldn't be using it but, I can't walk very far or long due to the ridcolopothy. Its embarrassing!

I get mad at myself because I remember doing things and not thinking twice about it. And I often wonder if people without my issues know how lucky they are. The thing that I get angry about is when a stranger offers to help me. Not at the person but because I'm not hiding my issues like I think I am. But I always try to stay positive...but it's harder than hell sometimes. And I often wonder if this is gonna be it for the rest of my life.