Hi there everyone. Stayingstrong1982 you have asked a good question and one that is worth answering. I myself have been fortunate to have a very understanding mate , spouse my wife Shelley who was born with her disability due to a doctor error. She has cerebral palsy and so has endured pain all her life, but because she was born in pain...it is something 'natural' to HER..but when I started having my arthritis flair up and my IBS issues as well, it affected our relationship certainly in very intimate ways. I won't go into all that but of course it affected my desires for intimacy because the pain was so bad or the rushing to the washroom was so interfering it was hard to become intimate in the most close part of a relationship. And so until I started to get over those things using diet and other pain management protocols we had to exercise understanding compassion and yes even more love, and thankfully we worked our way through that period of time until everything started to 'work' again.... intimacy has become natural again but of course there are days when both of our pain gets in the way, and so during those moments we need to be more loving, patient and compassionate....Love does conquer all. Good question because yes pain causes tension, tension causes pain and yes the pain is worse in those moments but often the negativity for us was caused by MY being negative about my pain, and being depressed about NOT being what I once was...so had to work on my own way of thinking and acceptance. But yes tension made and does make my pain worse...good question. Hugs to all, Ron S.

In response to Ron' s answer..
Pain. & fatigue was & sonetimes still is DEFINITELY a barrier in the intamacy part of my relationship.
Now things are " better" but not 100%
Feeling " guilty" and just enduring the pain to please someone so they don't cheat can definitely cause the ENTIRE BODY to become tense.
My anxiety meds help a little so thats a plus.
Its great you have an understanding wife..
Take care

Absolutely and unfortunately until here recently my husband of 30 years says the nasty comments all day when I can't get up and do. Which makes the bad days worse. I'm so sad. I know my marriage is over but its not ever been a good marriage. We are what the Bible says, unevenly yoked. We have things in common but somehow we have resentment towards each other. Forgiveness for adultery, addiction etc. Seems to always creep back in. I was a super mom of 2 girls and I'm loving being a grandmother but my relationship with my husband is toxic for our family. Im not sure if I can make it on my own. Someone please tell me what I should do? Sad and extremely depressed...

I agree ..when im CONSTANTLY IRRITATED my neck tenses up and my back throbs
Whereas, when im CALM AFTER DOING pilates or a nice walk in the park my back AND neck are VERY RELAXED .

Stress can indeed increase pain levels because our bodies tense up and emotionally as well we tense up and pain can increase as the body releases certain chemicals to combat that tension and thus more pain so needless to say we need to try and stay as calm and stress free as possible? And as we know that is not always possible if we don't have support and understanding from loved ones, friends, family or even ourselves being too hard on ourselves...so it takes training to learn to find ways to be less stressed, and for each one of us that is different.... Hugs to all, Ron S.